According to Pew Research, nearly three in ten people are single in the U.S., and about half of these single folks are actually looking for love.
Believe it or not, over half of single men (56%) are looking for a committed relationship, and less than half of single women (44%) are interested in the same thing.
According to one guy, that may be a good thing — he argues that women looking for a serious relationship are the worst dates.
Sharing his thoughts on the subreddit, r/unpopularopinion, the man revealed the exact reason why he believes that women who say they want a serious relationship do not make great dates.
“On dating apps, some women make it a point to emphasize that they are ‘looking for a relationship,’” the man wrote. “Almost everyone who has said this to me has been a dreadfully boring date and tends to be rather socially awkward and uncompromising with their partners.”
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He believes that those who are so dead set on having a committed relationship tend to establish unusually high standards for themselves and do not allow themselves to give people a fair chance.
“I understand having a goal in dating and not wanting to waste your time, but a relationship comes about naturally,” the man wrote. “Someone who isn’t dead set on a relationship will almost always get into one with the right person.”
The man added that women who say they are looking for a serious relationship tend to be “awkward sexually” and “won’t be willing to do anything sexual for a while because they think they’re worth waiting for.”
Oh, there’s more. To add insult to injury he continued, “They tend to wonder why they’ve never been in a serious relationship without looking at themselves.”
Most people believed that the man was actually the bad date, and was pressuring women into milestones they were not yet ready for.
Unsurprisingly, this guy’s unusual opinion of women and dating rubbed most people the wrong way.
“It seems like you have this view of relationships in that, unless there is sex immediately, the person is ‘boring’ to you,” one Redditor noted. “I think the problem is you and that you have an incredibly shallow opinion of relationships.”
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“At least they’re being honest. Men just lie about what they really want and then wonder why women don’t trust men anymore,” another user commented. “With that attitude, you’ll never have any luck with a decent woman,” another pointed out.
When looking for love it is completely understandable to wait for a connection with a potential partner before moving on to more physical pursuits. It’s also completely understandable to jump right in if it feels right. it’s all about choice.
People’s choices around their intimate lives should be respected, and they are certainly not ‘boring’ for choosing to wait.
Some individuals prefer to establish a strong emotional connection with their partner before engaging in a physical relationship. The more you get to know a person, the more you can get a feel of their character and if their values align with yours. Most importantly, you can establish trust with your partner.
“There’s less worry that you’ll never see the person again, and more comfort that he or she is interested in you as a person,” marriage and family therapist Jill Whitney told Business Insider.
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Whitney added, “You’ve had time to begin opening up emotionally and found that your partner was kind and un-hurtful — the sort of person you’d feel more comfortable sleeping with.”
That being said, if you are looking for a more casual relationship and prefer not to wait, that is completely acceptable! The most important thing is finding a partner whose needs align with yours, and that they bring you comfort, and happiness and are a safe space for you.
Perhaps this man would have better dates if he sought out women who were looking for something more casual, just like he is.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.