Respect is always a two-way street and frequently becomes a clover-leaf intersection.
Despite how many lanes add to the complexity of your Respect Rd., if your lane is blocked, it will impede the flow, and respect will take a detour.
By using writing as part of a healing journey, Alex Elle discovered, “The respect you show to others (or lack thereof) is an immediate reflection on your self-respect.”
Here are 7 tiny behavior changes that make people instantly respect you more, according to YourTango experts:
1. Have strong boundaries
Create good, clear, healthy boundaries. This is the crucial step to gaining respect and cultivating healthy interpersonal relationships.
— Loulou Palmer, Coach/Mentor
2. Create win-win situations
In a win-win situation, nobody loses. A petty, aggressive person thrives on revenge. They want to see others fail because, to them, that means they succeed.
A decisive person, however, does not feel rejuvenated by other people’s pain. Ultimately, they would like to get along with everyone.
Remember that disrespectful people don’t respect themselves at the end of the day.
— Izzy Casey, MFA, freelance writer
3. Dispose of diminishing comfort techniques
Never talk down or make small what you do. Don’t try to diminish what you are doing to make the other person feel comfortable. They will feel comfortable if you are clear and honest when you talk about yourself and enjoy you even more when you ask questions that focus on them for the answers, not yourself.
— Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Positive psychologist, author, and filmmaker
4. Demonstrate your commitment to the team
Respect often follows when others recognize a commitment to helping a team’s success and growth.
— Nia Tipton, pop culture and modern-day issues writer
Photo: PH888 via Shutterstock
5. Be able to properly communicate
On the whole, being able to communicate and maintain healthy boundaries will increase the level of respect that people give to you.
— Miki Anderson, Ph.D., LCMHC
6. Be undistracted.
How refreshing is it to see someone speaking to someone who is actively attentive?
It is becoming rare and gaining instant respect.
— Alex Mathers, coach, writer, and illustrator
7. Don’t be seen as a pushover
We’ve all heard variations of the saying, “Bullies are insecure/unhappy/powerless people.” And usually, it rings true.
If you find yourself constantly being treated badly, it could also point to the people you’re surrounded by. When insecure people notice how you “take” the hate they throw your way. They’ll be more inclined to start treating you like a punching bag than others who are less tolerant.
— Yona Dervishi, Author
In a competitive culture, respect must be earned. Earning that societally demonstrated respect requires us to begin from within by creating clear boundaries for ourselves in the way we interact with others.
Once we have a clear concept of ourselves, we can better step through the interpersonal challenges we face every day.
Let yourself be committed to active communication to create winning environments where other people can’t help themselves from respecting your skills.
Will Curtis is a writer and editor for YourTango. He’s been featured on the Good Men Project and taught English abroad for ten years.